5 Strategies to Avoid Being Too Pooped for Passion | Black and ...

by Deborah Mills,

At some time or another most of us have been Too Pooped for Passion. It?s to be expected. BUT this shouldn?t be the norm. What?s the pain point here? One tired spouse and one neglected spouse. That?s pretty much what it boils down to.?

When you vowed to become husband and wife, within those vows was also the commitment to fill certain needs for one another EXCLUSIVELY.

Affection, attention, and sexual fulfillment are needs to be filled by your mate. There is no magic number or time limit on how much affection do I have to give or just how often are you saying I have to do ?it?. This solely depends on your mate. One wife may require a lot of attention. Yours may not. Sexual intercourse 3 days a week for some may work well , but for others it may be 5 and for others once a month.

Let?s paint a vivid picture: When you became husband and wife you rightfully committed to each other that there are certain needs and desires that I won?t allow anyone else to fill except you.

Husband ? I won?t let anyone quench my thirst except you.

Wife: I won?t allow anyone to drink from my fountain except you.

So, what do we do about this, being too pooped for passion? It begins with giving your spouse the proper place of value and worth in your heart. When you do this their needs and desires are placed high on your priority list.

This means YOU RESERVE ENOUGH ENERGY TO TAKE GOOD CARE of YOUR SPOUSE. Fellas, you don?t generally talk as much as a woman, so if you need to reserve some of your kind words for your wife when you get home, do so. Don?t spend them all on the job. Ladies, you generally are a helper who tries to take care of those in need- filling your responsibility plate to overflowing. Now, you are ready to collapse when your head hits the pillow.

We hear you shouting -HELP!!! Okay, here we go.

1) Streamline the operations of your day.?Put systems in place to help your day run smoothly. Set boundaries giving yourself a CUT OFF time for all work. Establish a consistent bedtime for children.

2) Know the needs of your partner and keep your vow to meet those needs.?If you don?t know your partner?s needs, it?s time for you to go on a treasure hunt. (We are talking about physical and emotional needs here. We are not talking about ?completing? another person. That?s not your task).

Husband: You would have an absolute fit if your wife allowed another male to pour into her cistern.

Wife: You would go off if your husband allowed another woman to quench his thirst.?

3) Modify your schedule, revamp your day to give one another what you need.?

Husband: Prime the pump by giving her what she emotionally needs to be excited about receiving you, so that she is not fulfilling a wifely duty but enjoying her knight in shining armor. What looks like nagging may be a cry for your attention and affection. Give it to her ? prime the pump. Don?t let her go somewhere else to find it.

Wife ? modify your schedule to keep yourself rested and refreshed so that your husband can part take of cool running waters from your fountain rather than a lukewarm drip from a stagnant pool.

4) Go to bed together.?Together, not one on the couch sleep and the other still cleaning or working. Start this time out TOGETHER. Figure out how each of you winds down for the evening ? a cup of hot tea, a funny TV show, a foot massage, a shower, a shower together.

5) Drop all cares before entering your bedroom. ALLOW it to be a sanctuary.?Release the weight of the day as you wind down. Be there mentally and physically for your spouse.

BMWK ? Don?t let being Too Pooped for Passion become a sore spot in your relationship. Revamp and Refresh. ?Please share some of the ways you ensure that you are not too pooped for passion.

Debbie Mills is a Transformational Life Strategist and relationship expert. ?She is the wife of one, mother of three, and grandmother to one. As co-creator of DeborahJerome, she and her husband believe a healthy relationship is your birth-rite.?Deborah wants your relationship to succeed. ?You can contact her via her website?DeborahJerome.com?and via twitter @deborahjrome.

About the author

Content and articles from the staff and guest contributors of BlackandMarriedWithKids.com

Source: http://blackandmarriedwithkids.com/2013/05/5-strategies-to-avoid-being-too-pooped-for-passion/

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