How To Get My Ex Boyfriend Back - Crucial Steps

Breaking up can be hard, and trying to get the relationship back can be equally difficult. Before attempting to try to get your ex boyfriend back, you first need to stop and figure out the things you need to do in order to make him want you again.

Whether he told you point blank that things simply weren't working out between you, or whether he said something to the effect that he needed some space, it doesn't really matter at this point. The result is the same, you are officially broken up. You cannot change what is now the past, however, you may be able to work on the future.

If you desire to reunite with your ex boyfriend, you must first make him want you back. This can be a bit more complicated than it sounds because reconciliations are never easy. Keep in might that not only are there correct ways to go about attempting to reconcile, there are at least twice as many more wrong ways to do this. Don't lose heart even when things seem hopeless because it still may be possible to turn things around if you do things the right way.

One fatal flaw that most women unintentionally make when trying to get back with ex boyfriend involves being selfish. In spite of the fact that most of us women are selfless and would give about anything to have the relationship back, the problem is that we may only see things from our point of view. We know how we are feeling, and in the process of being swept up in all of the emotions we feel, we inadvertently dump all of this onto him.

Instead, while trying to get your boyfriend back, try to see things from his point of view. If you are too busy being emotional and depressed and only viewing what happened through your own eyes, it will be all but impossible to repair the relationship. In fact, if you're approaching your ex and bringing the pitiful attitude with you, he's going to head for the hills instead of sticking around to hear what you have to say. Attempt to put your own feelings aside and try to see things from his perspective, maybe try to realize what ruined the relationship for him. Once you understand and see things from his point of view, you will know more about how to go about getting him to want you back again.

Taking The First Step

Don't bombard your ex with spouting off about how dearly you love him, how much you miss him, or telling him your life is meaningless without him. While you may be feeling all these things, try not to dump this emotional overload on him right now. You will overwhelm your ex using this approach and it may also make him lose some respect for you.

Remember, even if he was the one who broke up, he is trying to deal with things in his own way right now too. Try not to dump the baggage of your emotions onto his shoulders right now, it's not the right time. Doing so will not work in your favor, and may actually repel him and turn him off. Remember, you cannot win him back unless you first make him want to be back with you. Maintain your cool, calm exterior when dealing with him, and save the emotional moments to share with your girlfriends later.

Don't use pleading, crying, and heaven forbid, please do not beg this guy. This makes you look truly desperate and pathetic and will later make you feel foolish, especially when he refuses to talk to you again for fear of your emotional wrath. Guys tend to shy away from the "psycho chick" , so try to eliminate the drama. This type of approach is also telling your guy you're only interested in one thing. If he knows all you want is to get back with him and you approach it in this manner, he will never feel comfortable enough to let his guard down and feel comfortable again.

So now we know some of the things not to do, so what are the right things?

A good way to handle this situation is to back off. So your ex wanted to break up, you'll live. If you're being honest with yourself, your relationship was probably not going too smoothly over the last few weeks or months. So who needs a crummy relationship anyway? If this is all this guy can muster up, who needs it, right? Well, maybe you still do want to get back with him, but don't fill him in on this detail just yet. Go along with him and point out to him that you now see that things were fizzling, and agree that perhaps it wasn't such a bad idea to break up. Let him know you understand and hold no grudges against him, and be on your way. He will stare in awe at how graciously you've accepted the break up...for a minute or two!

Now your ex is going to be reeling over this as he plays it over in his mind again and again. First of all, you've now gained his respect by not being a blubbering mess and begging and pleading with him to come back to you. You've also succeeded in making him begin to doubt his importance in your life. Yes dear, you have quite effectively bruised the male ego, but this is a good thing. He will start to ponder on why you're being so cool with his decision, and wondering if perhaps he made the wrong move in letting such a great girl go.

Make Him Miss You

Ever notice how you can't really miss people you have regular contact with? That's because they are still around on a regular basis. Imagine if they left for a period of time, then you would start to miss them.This is the key ingredient in the recipe of reconciliation, making him miss you. He cannot begin to do this if you won't go away, so keep your distance after the breakup and avoid contacting him. Staying in contact with him, even through emails, text, or social media, will slow down your progress if you really want him back. Trying to stay in touch in "friends" mode is a sure way to make him NOT see you in the way you want to be seen. After all, you want more than friendship, so don't play the friend card.

After he's not getting his steady diet of you, he'll begin to get a little hungry. He'll begin to wonder where you are and who you're hanging out with. In the meantime, get on with your life. Hang out with friends, do things you enjoy, and make yourself happy while you are apart. Doing this is not only beneficial to you, but will also make you a fun and desirable person to be around, someone he'll definitely find desirable and appealing. After all, who wants to be around someone who is depressing and moping all the time? Most likely, not your ex! Your confident, charismatic attitude will impress and entice your ex back, and he'll realize he'd better get his act together and make his move or someone else is going to realize what a great catch you are...if they haven't already.

Ah yes, jealousy. Use it to your advantage. If he happens to be noticing how happy you are since the breakup, let him notice. He'll be wondering what, or who, is putting that smile on your face.

Other Ways To Get Him Back

Just like anything else that is worthwhile, reconciliation will take time. The more information you have, the more things will work out in your favor. If this person and your relationship with them means so much to you, don't take unnecessary risks that could sabotage your efforts. Figure out a step by step plan of action and learn what to do to get back in his good graces. Only when you do things properly can you make it possible to reconcile.

Firstly though, it is important that you understand why he left you to begin with. There is no point putting all of this energy into trying to get him back, if you do not address the real issues that caused your break up. Another great thing to look out for is the signs he still loves you, when you can begin spotting clues in his behaviour and how he acts around you, you will know for sure if it is worth the bother.

Source: http://www.streetarticles.com/reconnecting/how-to-get-my-ex-boyfriend-back-crucial-steps

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